Basically, I was like a sheep, as whatever they did I did. They were mates and that was it, I couldn’t call them friends as I knew that if I told them anything personal it would be used against me and broadcast to the nation.

One of them bought a computer so I had to. I told a mate at the school who I had known from my junior school. He told his brother Dave (who I sort of knew) who was at university and he phoned me to ask if he could see it.

For several weeks he would come round and use it and show me things about it I didn’t know. Then he started telling me about God. I was ready for him as I knew God didn’t exist. All this stuff about Jesus was easily explained away. He was not a divine figure, but a man from out of space who had technology that was far more advanced than they had 2000 years ago. I had seen Star Trek so knew about these things.

Later Dave invited me to his church. There was no way I was going there. Still later, he told me that his church was having a disco and would I like to go. Again I said “No”. Then he told me that a girl was going there who fancied the socks off me and told me that there would be free food. - I said I’d go.

On the night, I was terrified that something bad was going to happen to me. I was so insecure that when someone asked if they could hang my coat up for me, I thought someone would pinch it and so kept it on.

I was quite looking forward to the evening, but things were not as I expected. For starters it was not a disco, but a group performing. The girl that fancied me was Dave’s girlfriend who he was wanting to dump on someone else and as for the food – it amounted to a bag of crisps and a manky sandwich.

I was not impressed to start with, but as the group started playing, and singing about their experience with God, it got me thinking. Then after the act several of my mate’s friends started talking to me. To my surprise, I felt at ease with them, it was is if I had known them for years. They invited me to their youth club, I enjoyed being with these people and so a agreed to go.

The youth group was like nothing I has seen before. I was convinced my mate Dave had told them all about me, because every week they would read out of the Bible and it sounded as if they were talking about me.

After a few months, the youth group went to see a Christian singer / comedian. I was thoroughly entertained, but the second half, although he was just as enjoyable, he started talking about what it meant to be a Christian. It got me thinking.

I didn’t go to church, but I did go to a Christian youth group. I didn’t say any prayers, but I did say “Amen” at the end of peoples prayers and although I didn’t read the Bible on my own, I did follow the readings when someone read from it. I even sang some of the songs about God. So did this make me a Christian?

The chap on stage said that he talks to many young people and he asks them if they are a Christian. Many of them are not sure. He said that as soon as they tell him this, he knows that they are not a Christian, because when you are a Christian you know for sure you are a Christian.

Ok. Problem solved, I knew I wasn’t a Christian. But my new friends were better than my old friends. Not because they were brighter or richer or anything like that, it was just that there was something about them that made me want to be like them.

Later the entertainer asked us to imagine standing at the edge of a dock, looking into the sea. In the sea is a boat and in the boat is the person you love the most – your mum, dad, daughter, son, boy/girlfriend, wife, husband, whoever. Now that boat is sailing off into the distance. In the distance, in the horizon there is blackness, nothing and you know that is where they are heading. How do you feel?

That was me! Not stood on the dock, but in the boat. I was headed nowhere. I had left school with no qualifications and no real friends. I had a rubbish job that paid pocket money. I try to learn things, but got everything wrong. Everything I touched broke, everything I did was rubbish. I could read, but not very well, no one could read my writing and I hated everything about me.

After a few more songs, which I don’t think I heard as I was thinking about things too much, the guy asked if anyone wanted to become a Christian and start a new life.

I wanted that. I wanted it so badly, but I was to scared to go to the front with the others that went forward. What if I someone at the front took a dislike to me and what if people laughed at me?

So going home in my mate’s car, I was sat in the back and in my mind, I told God that I had tried loads of things to be a better person and everything had failed. I added that I would put my trust in Him on the condition that He didn’t let me down. If ever I found out that He was a fake, like some of the people I knew at school, I would drop Him.

I went home and went to bed and that was it. The next morning I woke us with the oddest feeling ever. I had a great desire to run in to the streets and tell others about Jesus.

To be honest, from that day, my life has not been the same since. I have many good friends, I am a lot more confident and thanks to God, I have got several good qualifications.

Not everything is rosy though. I still work for pocket money and I get things wrong, but since putting my trust in Jesus (and I know this sounds corny, but its true) my life is better than I could have ever imagined and its still not finished yet.